194 Days & Counting!!!!

As this year is coming to a close I could not help but notice that we have less time here in Massachusetts than we have already put in! We have been here 195 days & we only have 194 left!

Part of me is elated that we are half way through & cannot believe the progress we have made. Hayden is eating eggs every day ~ scrambled, hard boiled, baked in cookies, brownies, pancakes, taffy, meringues, and every other possible way we can think of.

He is also beginning his mornings with yogurt smoothies as his dairy dose is ever increasing to the point it was too much yogurt to eat in one sitting, so we plop it in the blender with some fresh fruit and he loves every last bit of it!

Hayden is just arriving at a full serving of wheat and must eat 3 servings per day. I have never seen a child so excited to eat pretzels every day. He is also enjoying whole wheat pasta and bread. Today I roamed the aisles of Whole Foods filling my cart with new wheat products for him to have. It was the most bizarre experience for me & I most certainly looked as if I had never shopped before. I stood in the cracker aisle with my eyes glazed over, unsure which crackers to pick. I mean after all I want him to love them. I grabbed so many items, read the ingredients, placed them in my cart & then back on the shelves, then back in my cart again. Is this really happening? Am I really taking wheat home for my son to eat? Everything about it felt so foreign. After-all, for the past ten years I had become the Whole Foods master of the gluten free products. I could walk through blindfolded and know where every single item was. I had been doing so for a decade.

We started introducing peanut two weeks ago and as the serving size slowly increases, you should see the look of pure excitement as Hayden tastes the peanut butter in his mouth. He is overcome with happiness and cannot wait to eat as much as he wants someday soon.

Sesame has been our trickiest of all the foods. We have been working on it for months and with continued mouth swelling, vomiting and tightness in the throat we have decided to keep the dose VERY minute, but still give it every day. Hayden no longer reacts to it, but we will not increase it until we have finished dairy. I do not want to overload his immune system. Knowing we are on a time frame to be out of here, I wanted to prioritize and felt that if Hayden still has sesame and tree nut allergies when we leave then those are easy enough to avoid if he needed to. Although, we have every intention of flying back and forth every two weeks to continue working with our healer until he is 100% allergy free. You don't start this intense process and quit before it's complete, at least I won't.

As for Hayden's broken wrist he is in a cast until Jan 6th. I am positive, with all of my heart this was an unanswered prayer. When Hayden went for his MRI I prayed that the images would be clear and we would be sent home to resume all activity. I was devastated to learn that it was in fact broke. "What? But he plays hockey, that's all he has right now, that's his everything."

I learned that time away from hockey has allowed my boy to have more time with his sisters, loving them and bonding with them in ways he could not if he was on the ice 4 nights per week. He has hugged me more in the past months than I can ever remember and we have laid together in my bed talking about life ~ something we could not do when he was getting home at 9 pm. each night. He is less tired, therefore less run down & I know this is a direct relation to how beautifully he has been dealing with all these foods. Even our healer says he is, at this rate, the fastest person to go through the process. Getting the cast off and returning to the ice will be bittersweet for me. I have learned to be thankful for the broken wrist, for it gave our family more than we could have ever received from hockey.

Amanda

"God's answers are wiser than our prayers." ~ Unknown

Lessons Learned

As we celebrated Thanksgiving last week in Atlanta with family I was overcome with just how much we have to be thankful for. This year, more than any before I truly appreciated and gave thanks for health. Last week a friend lost his

3 year battle with brain cancer and it brought me to my knees as I questioned why his children will grow up without him. I cannot make sense of why these things happen, other than to believe that death is a chance for the rest of us to appreciate life, to make changes for the better and to truly live in the moment.

This

is my m

oment to appreciate and honor all of my children.

As Maggie's language rapidly develops I am continually in awe of her resiliency

and determination. She is honestly THE happiest little girl I have ever encountered. She faces the world with

optimism & courage

every single da

y. You cannot be around Maggie without having a huge smile plastered on your face. She radiates when she smiles and it truly is contagious. As she hears herself talk, she will often stop and say, "I hear Maggie talking." She is practically overwhelmed by the sound of her own voice and the fact that others are understanding her now. She has taught me to never take my hearing for granted and to be joyful for even the smallest of triumphs.

Self-discipline, charm, integrity, silliness and confidence are the heart of my sweet Ava.

Whether she is on the soccer field, at gymnastics, playing piano, or on the theatre stage she

gives 110%

and always strives to do better. She loves to excel at everything and has a competitive flair that I must admit I love! Her heart is full of kindness and love whether she is teaching Maggie in he

r little school house, brushing the dogs or cleaning her room she does it with a happy heart. Despite desperately wanting to go home she never says it in front of her brother (only secretly to me) for fear of hurting his feelings. Ava teaches me everyday about loving more and worrying less. Her precious little voice is all I need to hear and I cannot help but be brought to the here and now. It is through her eyes that I see the beauty and magic

that this world has to offer.

My sweet boy Hayden, now ten-years-old is the most intuitive, compassionate and emotionally wise person I have ever met. He was born an old soul and has forever been the

best on giving advice to others. He is a natural born therapist! Hayden can carry on a conversation with

anyone, regardless of age or background. He particularly likes to sit next to a stranger on the plane and learn their e

ntire life story. He is fascinated by the workings of relationships and why people make the choices they do. He exudes charm and has a smile that lights up his entire face. His sense of humor and goofiness are at an all time high these days, even if I don't understand half of it. Hayden teaches me about saying what's in my heart, not what's on my mind. He forgives and loves with every ounce of his being. He is proof that healing can happen when your heart and mind are open.

I am thankful and honored for the opportunity to raise these sweet beings & to learn so much about myself along the way.

Amanda

"The soul is healed by being with children." ~ FYODOR DOSTOEVSKY

Is This For Real?

I guess God is really testing my strength.

My plate is more than full and I have slowly become the mom I always secretly judged. The mom who forgets things like her 4 year-old daughter's pumpkin for carving day at preschool or the mom who misplaced the field trip flyer and had to scramble to make it work out last minute. Or here is a good one the mom who never even knew there was an assembly that her second grade daughter was singing in & didn't show up. For those of you who really know me, you will agree this is not Amanda Hanson behavior, not in the least. But I have somehow been buried under this chaos and simply trying to make it through the days, obviously not doing the best job. We have had tears, frustrations and unmet expectations, but I choose to reflect on the lessons in humanity & forgiveness. Letting my children down has been extremely difficult for the perfectionist in me, but their love and understanding during these unusual circumstances triumphs.

Early last week we all agreed it was time to decompress and get away. So Monday night at 9 pm I was online booking tickets to Scottsdale. Fourteen hours later I was on the airplane with my kiddos (that included dropping our dogs off at the kennel at 7 am)! During the craze to pack & get out of here I wondered if it was the right decision. Well let me tell you, after the first hour of 90 degrees poolside I was certain I made the best decision! We laughed, played and reconnected in a way that we really needed. We even got to see Bryan the last two days, which is always a bonus! Hayden had zero processing while we were away & we were able to increase all of his foods. I really think the dryer climate suits him and I am certain the low stress level is a huge component in his progression forward. If only we could stay in vacation mode the for the remainder of our treatment time ~ I wish.

As we approached our last day the kids begged us to go bike riding after breakfast. My intuition was saying "no" because we bike weekly here. My kids are used to 15-20 mile rides on the Minuteman Trail by our townhouse, so why would we bike during our last day by the pool? The kids and my husband decided it would be fun & of course I went along as I did not want to be the stick in the mud. Oh how I wished I would have been. Four miles in my son is acting like a nut on his bike and swerving like crazy on the open path. I tell him firmly that he needs to stop because he is going to get hurt. Moments later I am somehow ahead of the family and I here screaming coming from behind. You guessed it, Mr Hayden decided to ignore my advice and wiped out, big time. Now here comes the low point (well one of them) in my mothering career. I turn around and go back, at this point Bryan is on the ground with him (the way a good parent should be) & I say "I told you to stop swerving, I knew this was going to happen." Oh yes, you can see it now. My husband looks at me like I am heartless & all I can muster up is, "You will be fine, get back on your bike and let's head back." I literally had to ride ahead because my compassion reserves were empty and I had nothing to give. Let Bryan handle this one. He is always telling me I need more time to myself, so I decided to take it, about 1/4 mile ahead of them all the way back.

The Hyatt proceeds to make a huge deal of our situation and next thing I know Bryan & Hayden are being escorted into a car and driven to the ER. "Are you serious, this is how we will be spending our last day at the resort? What about family time (that we so freakin desperately need) by the pool?" So the next four hours they sit in the ER & I sit poolside with my girls. Not what I had expected.

Hayden came home with inconclusive X-rays & a splint. Perfect. Now that means more appointments. Hell why not, it's not like I have anything better to do. Why not take Hayden out of school more often, it's not like the days he gets out already for his treatments aren't enough. Let's see just how far behind he can get in his studies. My sarcasm runs deep.

Today we were at Boston Children's to find out that he did in fact break his scaphoid. He will be in a cast for two weeks and then he will have an MRI done to see if he needs surgery. I am begging for all prayer warriors to pray that Hayden is healed and good to go in a few weeks without surgery. We literally cannot have another blow to his treatment. He is devastated that he is missing hockey every night and practically cried tonight because he NEEDS to be on the ice.

Just another week in the crazy Hanson household I suppose.

Amanda

I Am Back, With A Vengeance

I have, in my darkest hours (& there have been several these past two weeks) prayed for grace, strength and clarity. None of it seemed to come my way. The reality of our situation and the heaviness of the work we are doing caught up with me. The honeymoon was over. I have wanted to run away from it all. I have cursed my circumstances more than I care to admit & I feel ashamed. My well was running dry & I feared I had nothing left to give.

Our already intense situation was compiled with an unexpected wrist surgery for me, Hayden coming down with strep so intense that it set him into severe processing every day & set our treatment back approximately three weeks. We have also been dealing with an abhorrent bullying situation at school that has put my son into a very fragile and timid state. For anyone who knows Hayden that is completely opposite of his charming, outgoing, confident ways. My middle daughter has been feigning stomaches to get attention (I don't blame that sweet angel).

So many balls in the air and too much for this mama to juggle alone. Everything came crashing down and I felt utterly helpless, scared and defeated. Going home seemed like the only option.

Until yesterday afternoon when something shifted in me & the fierce, unstoppable Amanda that I have relied on all my life was back ~ and with a vengeance. I owe it to my children to pick myself up by my boot straps and get back in the saddle. And that is exactly what I have done.

I refuse to let our situation & the stress that is inherent in this type of process get in the way of our goal. Healing Hayden and nurturing all my kiddos and their unique needs along the way is what I must stay focused on. They are counting on me & I will not let my babies down.

Our energy healer says that sometimes this treatment, like anything in life, must sometimes go backwards a few steps to grow and then move forward. That has been very true for me this past week as well. I have stumbled and gone to places of barely recognizing myself. But all that really matters is not only that I came back (as his treatment is starting too) but I came back with a strength deeper and more anchored than before. And if falling into a desperate place is what it took than I am grateful for the opportunity to have fallen.

Amanda

"Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers, but to be fearless in facing them. Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain, but for the heart to conquer it." Rabindranath Tagore

Too Weary For Words Today

8 Months and Counting

We have officially started our countdown ~ 8 months & we head back to Colorado! Home to all our comforts. Our house, our wonderful friends, our amazing community, our neighborhood school, the beautiful mountains that I see every night in my dreams. I can't wait to have good hair again, this humidity is killing my tresses. I miss the near constant sunshine, the happy, positive people. The wide open spaces and next to no traffic are things I will never again take for granted.

I have been tentative to talk timelines with the kids until recently. My sweet husband and I have decided that regardless of where we are in the treatment, come June 24th (end of the school year) we head home. I talked to our good dr. about this and with treatments twice per week, she feels quite confident that we will be almost finished. Almost being the operative word. So I have asked her in an effort to make completion more realistic can we move a bit quicker on upping the values. We are proceeding faster than before and I pray it does not backfire on us, so far so good.

Just knowing there is a light at the end of this tunnel makes the daily task at hand more bearable. We are also planning a family cruise to celebrate all the hard work that happened while we were here. When asked how he wanted to celebrate Hayden exclaimed, "A cruise, with all kinds of food that I can have!" And so we muscle through each day knowing the benefits will last a lifetime.

Amanda

"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them." ~G.B. Shaw

My Littlest One Gave Me the Greatest Gift

My sweet Maggie who is three weeks shy of turning four continues to be a source of continual inspiration for me. But today was different. Today I really got it... the message that God wanted me to get... the one I had been missing for way too long because I was so busy trying to get her "caught up."

Maggie has a profound hearing loss and has been wearing hearing aides for six months now. Up until her diagnosis I had her in speech therapy twice per week and worked endlessly with her. At age two her hearing tests came back fine and I assured myself that if I worked even more with her she would be okay. Maybe the 9.5 months of only hearing Spanish in Guatemala really was affecting her more than I realized. Maybe she was strong willed and did not want to talk. Maybe the rest of the family did all the talking for her, so she remained quiet. When my two-year-old was not speaking, I made every excuse and believed that in due time she would start talking & never stop. But sadly that never happened.

A few months after Maggie turned three I contacted Children's Hospital in Denver and insisted that her hearing be tested again. This time they did an ABR (Auditory Brain Stem Response) and the results were overwhelming. Maggie is approximately 70% deaf. I wept when I heard those words. A mixture of relief, fear and sadness. I wondered how I would handle this for all her years to come. I questioned if she had ever really heard my voice and the endless, "I love you" that I whispered to her every night. While I was receiving this news she was still in recovery and in my arms. As I cried, my sweet angel wiped my tears and I vowed in that moment to be strong & to be the advocate she needed me to be, nothing less, not for a minute.

I wish I could say that I was always true to that promise. There have been days of frustration, days where it felt like she would never form a two word sentence. Days where her frustration in trying to communicate has led to temper tantrums. I have watched her try to befriend other children to only be shunned because she could not communicate. My heart has been broken more times than I ever thought I could bear. That pain has kept me going in my refusal to let her receive adequate services. My Maggie deserves the best from a preschool and I was determined she would get it (and then some)!

After many appointments here in Boston, with the world renowned Mass Eye & Ear we know that for the time being her hearing is not degenerating. She is also on an IEP at a phenomenal school where she is on an FM system all day and is pulled out of the classroom four times per week to receive special services with speech therapy and to work with a teacher for the hard of hearing who teaches Maggie how to hear & listen. Another blessing for us during our time here in Massachusetts.

All in due time I tell myself. We will get there. But today there was a moment~ a moment in which all my worries faded away~ a moment where Maggie made me realize that today is all that matters, limited language and all, just love and accept me right here mama, today. It was a moment that sounded something like this. As I was driving and approaching a green light Maggie said, "Green, go mom." As I turned she clapped her chubby little hands and said "Nice job mom."

A moment that taught me to relish her innocence and her "baby talk" and all the joy she lives her life with. Several times a day she will hear a bird chirping, a distant siren or a school bell and she will touch her ears and ask, "Hear that?"

I vow to slow down and hear it all.

Amanda

"I have always thought it would be a blessing if each person could be blind and deaf for a few days during his early adult life. Darkness would make him appreciate sight; silence would teach him the joys of sound." ~ Helen Keller

Fake It Til You Make It

I am literally shaking as I type this, but I am trying to remain as "calm & normal" as possible while Hayden sits nearby & I keep an eye on him. Any attempts to pick up the phone and get support from family and friends would cause him more concern. So I sit here and fake calmness.

My kids have 1/2 days on Thursdays, so as soon as we got home I gave Hayden his daily wheat dose, which has been steadily increasing. We were targeted to be at a full serving in 3 weeks & we have been counting down the days ~ until now that is. :(

We have a scale that tracks any processing Hayden may be feeling. It's a simple 1-10 kind of a thing. 1 means slight itching or tingling & 10 is I am having trouble breathing. It gives me a really good basis as to how to proceed & helps our good Dr determine if he can move up in his dosing. To this point we have had 3 processing issues, once at 3, once at 4 & once at 9. All have been quickly resolved with acupressure "tapping", repeating of his mantra & 1 Alka Seltzer Gold dissolved in 4 oz of water.

But today was the most dramatic processing I have seen & it shook me to my core, but I dare not let him know as I do not want my fear or negative energy to be projected onto him, as this can really effect the process from here on out. So I smile and nod right now & even hum a stupid tune to let him think I am calm.

Moments after giving him the wheat he returned to the kitchen and said "Mom, I'm at a 4, actually a 5." I respond, "Oh, that's ok, let's do our tapping and take an Alka Seltzer Gold, this is just your body processing through the wheat." "Mom, I do not feel well, I'm at a 7 now." Trying not to break down, I say in my calmest, fakest voice I can muster, "No worries, you are just fine, finish your Alka Seltzer." "Mom I can't swallow it, we need to go to the hospital." At this point I am grabbing for the epi-pen in the calmest way I know how & taking the cap off at which time Ava comes in the room screaming "OMG, are we going to the hospital is Hayden having trouble breathing?" You can imagine the fear this instills in all of us. Hayden literally starts to tremble and whimper & I say firmly you either finish that Alka Seltzer or I have to epi-pen you right now. I have never seen him chug anything so fast. As God is my witness, 20 seconds pass and he looks at me and starts to smile & says, "I'm at a 1 mom, I'm going to be okay." & I say in my fake calm voice, "Of course you are going to be sweetie. Let's do some more mantra and tapping." I proceed to say the mantra in a near whisper while I rub his back & he does his tapping. Minutes later he wants to know if we are having lunch anytime soon, because he is starving. Are you kidding me? :)))))

This is such a roller coaster of emotions. And to top it all off our Dr is away for several days.

Trying to time these dosings is the trickiest part of all this for me. Now we are off to guitar lessons and I will smile and act like we are a "normal" family having a "normal" Thursday afternoon. Maybe if I fake it a few more hours I will actually believe we are a normal family!

Amanda

Determination Is The Name Of My Game

My kiddos are back in school, but an unimaginable chain of events have occurred for us over here. Day two of school I get a school-wide e-mail that states PCB levels, above EPA standards have been found in the school and there is concern over the threat these levels may impose. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is this some kind of bad science fiction joke? My heart started racing as I googled PCB ~ and the more I read the more I knew what I had to do. I went to the town hall meeting that evening to advocate for all of the children at the school. I even got up and spoke, but very quickly it became all too clear that only one person could truly protect my children & only one person really had any vested interest in their long-term health, me.

For sake of an extremely detailed story I will summarize by saying that my bad-ass self, who never accepts no for an answer, got my kids a "medical" transfer to another Lexington elementary school. It took days of persistence that I truly did not know I had. If the medical transfer had not been approved I was looking at moving to another townhouse on the other side of town or staying here and homeschooling. Neither task would have been ideal given our already taxed situation, but I stood firm that we would make this work. I cried so much in the days that led up to getting the green light on the transfer, wondering how much more one very weary mama could handle.

I got an e-mail on Friday from my kiddos new school that stated they had been awarded a Blue Ribbon Award of Excellence, such an honor, as only 308 schools in the nation were picked! Yes, everything does happen for a reason and my kids are settling in just beautifully. Ava, my second grader, told me yesterday that she loves her new group of friends & she loves being the only white girl in that group!! The cultural lessons have been profound and for sake of confidentiality I feel it best not to share the details. Hayden, my 4th grader, has met a few fellow hockey players but is especially enjoying the new friendship of a girl in his class who seems to bring him unending happiness. It is really fabulous to see two kids of the opposite sex, at this age, who have NOT been childhood playmates kindle a friendship and support each other. She is always asking about his allergy treatments and cheering him on & he is trying to figure out how to best support her through her parents divorce. The life lessons we are working through humble me as I try to find the right words to help my children understand these delicate situations.

My husband came out and spent several days with us last week & we are both in 100% agreement that our marriage has NEVER been this firmly planted. I am endlessly grateful to have him as my life partner. Saying goodbye to him is becoming more difficult for all of us, but this time it was Hayden who took goodbye very hard. Maybe it is because he so desperately needs his father around with all the estrogen he has to deal with every day (me, Ava & Maggie)! Hayden announced that dad should just stay with us until July "...afterall who needs more money when we have eachother, please mom & dad?" If only it was that easy little man. So until Bryan's return I will balance roles of mom & dad, especially as hockey season has begun. I must say the locker room situation is getting a bit awkward now, with me being the only mom in there tying skates, but like all the other kids Hayden wants his parent to do his too. And where I go, so do my girls, who cannot be left unsupervised, so we have become Hayden's entourage in the locker room! What's a mom to do?

On the allergy front we are rocking and rolling right along! Hayden has daily doses of egg, dairy, wheat, & sesame. Every time he turns around I am putting more food in front of him, it's wildly fantastic to watch him enjoy foods he has never experienced. I wonder if I will ever tire of this? I intend to post pictures this week of our food celebrations & milestones!

Amanda

"There is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul." - Ella Wheeler Wilcox

We Belong In Italy

Life has been nothing short of a circus side show over here. All I know is that school starts in two days and I will breathe a bit differently in the hours I have to myself. I am in such desperate need of quiet time and privacy. I may decide to sit on the toilet the entire first day, with the door open, just because I can.

In the three months we have been living here I have come to the definitive conclusion we are a really LOUD family. You can't miss us when we enter the grocery store, shopping mall, park, car wash, etc. We are the family who all talks at once, has very strong opinions and is persistent about getting an answer. And never mind the fact that my 3.5 year-old is severely hearing impaired, wears hearing aides and practically screams when she speaks (bless her little heart). We had to take my dog to the vet the other day and I had the sudden feeling we were being peered at from behind magazines as all the patrons watched our chaos.

We should really live in Italy where loud is the norm, talking with your hands is equivalent to moving your mouth and being fiercely passionate is the only way to exist. This is not a justification for our behavior rather an answer to where we seem to fit. A trip to Italy was not even in the cards with Hayden's allergies, but as he continues to eat more wheat every day, we know a trip to Rome and Venice is not that far out of reach!

Our good Dr. believes in rewarding the kids she sees with big prizes when they complete a food they were previously allergic to. Soooooooo, since we are entering the "maintenance phase" of egg he got his first prize today, a PSP3! What a victory ~ A celebration that seemed so far out of reach, but here we are, after only 12 weeks of hard work!

Hayden continues to eat dairy and wheat daily, albeit very small amounts. The good news is we have had minimal "processing" and are increasing his doses every 24 hours. Dairy is typically the toughest one to work through and will take the bulk of our time here. Wheat however should be just a few more months. We start sesame this week as well. Whew, that's a lot going on for one little person, but he smiles for each serving and we celebrate the daily milestones. His sister Ava is truly the most compassionate, loving, cheerleader of a sister who has brought abundant sunshine to this entire process. She has not once questioned this move or all the sacrifice we have endured to be here, she simply smiles and hugs him with a joy & purity that is indescribable.

We thank God for this constant blessing of healing and for the love and support from all our family and friends. We are blessed beyond measure.

Amanda

Changing So Much More Than Allergies

Yesterday my kids received the name of their teachers & a list of all the children who will be in their class. Our initial excitement quickly turned to confusion and curiosity. Confusion over how to pronounce many of the names and curiosity about how they would approach these kids if they were so challenged by their first name. I am talking about the kinds of names that have 15 consonants in the first name alone. With every attempt I made it was obvious this would not be an easy task. Lexington public schools are ranked some of the best in the state and many Asian and Indian families flock here to get the best for their children. Their school is an international school in many respects as there will be families from 22 different countries, many of whom are here for only one year, as their parents work at Harvard or many of the big hospitals in the city.

I am beyond excited for my children to walk the halls, eat lunch and play outside with kids of all backgrounds and colors. We came from a town that was too vanilla & in many ways did not challenge any of us to grow culturally. This school represents what my family has so needed, to get out of our comfort zone, our little bubble and see how big the world really is.

Hayden is now consuming egg, small amounts of dairy and wheat every single day without any "processing." This is a continued blessing for our family and a commitment that is not always easy, but we are seeing as an adventure and a journey that we will NEVER forget. It has made us so much stronger and closer as a family.

As I type this, my three kiddos are upstairs building a fort in my son's room. Prior to moving here the two older ones would have been off playing at a friend's and my little one would be terrorizing our dogs. Not that there is anything wrong with playing at a friend's, but this situation has forced my kids to redefine their relationship with one another and to love each other in a way they had not before. I see the change in them, the patience and compassion that was less apparent before. Our evening bike rides and walks are also more special than ever because instead of being outside chatting with a friend I am getting to know them more & REALLY listening to what they are saying. This is a summer (as hard as some days were) that will forever hold a special place in my heart.

The past 2.5 months have also been a time to redefine my marriage. Although my husband has always traveled for work, living across the country from each other is not even comparable. We are already growing tired of this arrangement, but know it is without question we see it through for our son. We have rediscovered long phone conversations (like when we were dating) and cherish even the smallest amounts of time we have together. We know in the end it will all be worth it and we will look back when our kids are grown and gone and smile at the thought that this was ever difficult.

The Hanson Family is changing and growing in so many ways and we are very blessed to even have this opportunity!

Amanda

A Deer In Headlights

The past several days have been filled with afternoons poolside & evenings at the park riding bikes, climbing rock walls and eating popsicles, even the dogs have been in on the fun! Yesterday my son overheard a woman talking about her daughter's life-threatening food allergies & he asked me if he could tell her about our energy healer. Before I could answer he opened my bag, grabbed Amy's business card and off he went. I knew what was most likely going to happen, but he was passionate and I let him approach. After watching the mom's face I knew it was time for me to jump in and help make sense of what she was hearing.

Needless to say she laughed in my face and asked me if our allergy doctor had approved of this treatment. I laughed right back and told her I did not even consult with my allergy doctor because I could careless what she thought. She went on to say how this seemed risky and would most likely backfire (all in front of my son). For the sake of her daughter I made every effort to assure her of the safety and how that in 8 years of treating children, Amy had never had a child go into anaphylaxis. She handed the card back and told me she would never consider this because her doctor would never approve. Are you serious lady? When did dr.'s start trumping educated parental decision making? At that point I knew I was dealing with someone who was closed to what I had to say. As I wished her the best and walked away Hayden grabbed my hand, squeezed it really hard and said, "I am so happy you are my mom."

I realize that what I am doing may seem a bit "out there", but as sure as I am typing this, I saw with my own two eyes my son lick dairy off of a toothpick yesterday & today without any reaction. Tomorrow we up the daily dose & by his birthday in November he will have a scoop of ice cream in a bowl. Something he has NEVER experienced! I pray that more families will open their hearts and minds to the possibility of this treatment for their children. To learn more about Amy check out her website at www.allergyart.com

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I ... I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." ~ Robert Frost

Amanda

How Crunchy Am I?

When I tell people that we are working with an "energy healer" I can almost hear the laugh they are trying so hard to suppress. Trust me, I felt the same way until just a few months ago. I do not consider myself granola crunchy. As a matter of fact I am quite mainstream. I color my greys, love wearing makeup and keeping up with the latest fashions. I do however cook organic, believe passionately about natural childbirth, breastfeeding, not vaccinating, and prefer our "medicine" to consist of a healthy diet, plenty of exercise, natural vitamin D from sunshine, and lots of laughter. I cannot remember the last time anyone in my family has been on antibiotics. But an energy healer, that was a stretch for me.

It took very little convincing after I spoke with 20+ families whose lives had been forever changed. No more label reading, epi-pens, rides in the ambulance. I heard stories of

"normal" existence where kids no longer feared food & were able to eat the pizza and cake at birthday parties. I wanted in & NOTHING was going to stand in my way. Except the good Dr's one year waiting list! I put our name in, did not tell a living, breathing soul and waited, very impatiently. Maybe I could pay her off to get bumped up? I called 4 months later after a scary visit to the ER and pleaded with her to let us start June 1st. She obliged and I was on the phone the next day signing a lease on an apartment that I had never seen. It did not matter that I would be going from 6,000 sq ft to 1,500 with 3 kids and 2 dogs. It did not matter that my husbands job is in Colorado and he could not go with us. It did not matter that I was living the high life in an outstanding community with friends who became family.

All that did matter were the possibilities for my son's future:

Eating in restaurants

Sharing his mom's napkin

Freedom to walk onto an airplane without concern of nuts being served

Going to a friend's without packing "safe" snacks

A first kiss without fear the person had eaten something that could kill him

Ability to travel the big wide world

Pursuing any career, regardless of travel requirements

And the list goes on & on & on

BTW, Hayden's allergies are eggs, dairy, wheat, sesame, peanuts and tree nuts. All of which are class 4, 5 or 6 allergen. His RAST scores (blood tests) have not budged in 9 years and we have been told he would have these allergies for the rest of his life and they were all in the anaphylactic category. "I DON'T THINK SO!!!!!!!!" (those were my exact words to his Dr when we last left her office) Since western medicine was offering no help I knew it was time to take a leap of faith into the alternative world of medicine. After all we had nothing to lose, only everything to gain.

Accepting her technique starts with opening one's mind. Her belief is that healing comes from desensitizing the body to the offending food. This is done on many levels, but starts with the unconscious mind. To address this we have been meditating every night before bed, posting mantras and goal charts in Hayden's room and "tapping" accupressure points on his body while repeating his mantra over & over. Our good Dr. continues to align his immune system weekly with her energy machine and magic water that supports what his body is needing. And it literally is water that she adds energy frequencies to. Introducing the food starts in minute doses and goes very slowly. I give him his serving daily at home and increase the dose every 48 hours. All I know is that my son is swallowing increasing amounts of egg without any reaction what-so-ever. That's all the proof I need!

Amanda

All In A Day's Work

If you want something done, just ask an overwhelmed mom. We have been blessed with the ability to do 15 things at once and not hurt anyone in the process (although sanity may be in question).

Today was another typical day for our over scheduled crazy busy family.

It started with peaceful, loving intentions to give the best of me to my children, after all, they deserve nothing less. As I am tugging covers back and opening blinds with children who are pleading to sleep longer I wonder how long I will remain sweet & patient?

Not long ~ I can't quite decide which event changed it all.

It must have been falling down the steps this morning on my way to the kitchen to make breakfast.

Or it could have been the dog poop I got on my finger when cleaning up the backyard.

Come to think of it, it was most likely the drive I made all the way to my kids school to realize I forgot the birth certificates on the kitchen counter.

Crazy day spent driving all over kingdom come, passing snacks in the car, jamming and singing along to Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber (lucky, lucky me ~ insert sarcastic tone) sitting in traffic that is not budging, talking to my GPS as it has, yet again failed me, trying to appreciate living in a town where the only type of parking is parallel parking and meters that continue to eat my quarters at rapid speed.

After we got through gymnastics, hockey, piano, an appointment with our energy healer & a trip to Whole Foods I drag myself & the groceries upstairs to realize it is 6:40 and dinner still has to be made.

As I begin cooking:

The dogs drop toys at my feet to play

I run upstairs to throw a load of laundry in

I compliment my daughter's new piano song she memorized

Yell to my stinky son to shower

Clap for my little one who is practicing full sentences

Make a much overdue customer service phone call

Empty & reload the dishwasher

Negotiate for later bed times

Look for lost doll shoes

Fix a ponytail

Apply a bandaid

Admire beautiful drawings with great detail

Answer a philosophical questions to my son who wonders why God allows so many children to never have the chance to be adopted

Remind my 7 y.o. that dancing to Rihanna songs in that fashion are not age appropriate

Air out a nasty, sweaty hockey bag so the gear is ready for the next use

Open mail and make tomorrow's to-do list

Whew, It's time to eat! Did I forget anything?

Yes, the most important part about today: Hayden who has a level 4 (RAST score of 25.0 -Very high level of allergen) to egg & has had anaphylactic responses to it requiring an epi-pen ate an even bigger dose today!!!!! We are thrilled and I intend to share details about his treatment in future blog posts.

Amanda

We travel east in search of healing

Our story is one of tenacity, hope and healing. My son, who is 9-years-old has never tasted many of the most common foods because they will kill him. We have lived in fear all of his life ~ but no longer. It is time for an uprising. Seven weeks ago I journeyed from Colorado to Massachusetts with all three of my children to work with an energy healer who has changed the lives of hundreds of people. We will be here for one year and when we return home, my son will be completely allergy free!

My intent for this blog is for our family and friends to stay updated about our progress. I pray that families in our situation find this blog & for the first time feel hopeful and know there truly is a cure for anaphylaxis.

Amanda